Manage-Up! A Guide for Product People to Understand and Influence Leadership

Are you a product manager or designer feeling overlooked or unsupported in crucial meetings? Perhaps you're seeking clear guidance on making tough product trade-offs, or your opportunities for professional growth seem just out of reach. In this practical session, Petra Wille, seasoned product leadership coach, addresses these common challenges for individual contributors in the product and design fields. Join Petra as she unveils strategies to effectively "manage up" and ensure that leaders not only hear but actively support your professional needs and development. 

This talk will equip you with the tools to confidently seek and receive the backing you need during key meetings, navigate complex decision-making with greater clarity, and actively shape your career path through your interactions with leadership. 

 

Recording

 

Recordet at Y-Oslo Conference 2024

 

Slides

 

Resources mentioned in my talk:

 

Visual Recording

 
 
 

Transcript

Hello Everybody!

I’m so glad to be here today to talk about Managing-Up. Let’s start with a little exercise: think of your boss or line manager. Close your eyes if you want. Now, ask yourself: have you ever wished they supported you more in meetings? Helped you with tough product decisions? Provided clearer direction on your personal development? If your answer to any of these questions is “yes,” then you’re in the right place. Today, I’ll share practical tips on how to influence upward and why this is such an important skill for your career.

But, let’s start in the beginning. Why do I care about this topic? I care about this topic because I coach your boss. Well, not exactly your boss, but I’m a product leadership coach who works with dozens of product, design, and tech leads every year. Here are just some of over 100 leaders I’ve coached in the past five years, across companies from big corporations like Denmark's Maersk and Novo Nordisk, to scaleups like Majority Bank in Sweden, and startups like Phenospex in the Netherlands and Kyte in the Bay Area.

And what I see consistently is that leaders want to be better bosses, but they’re not always sure where to start.

Here’s the real challenge: Many leaders are caught up in daily crises, lack the time to focus on strategy, and don’t realize how much their teams are struggling. In fact, feedback from their team could be the key to helping them set the right priorities—but it rarely reaches them. Why? Because many employees assume that their boss knows exactly what they’re doing or that they’re intentionally withholding direction or support.

Let me debunk that assumption.
From my coaching experience, I can tell you that leaders often don’t have it all figured out. They’re navigating the same challenges you are, and they’re not withholding feedback or clarity on purpose—they’re simply unaware of what’s needed. They’re stuck firefighting, and in most cases, they’d love constructive input from their team to help them become better leaders.

So, should you provide feedback? Absolutely. Leaders appreciate feedback more than you’d think. If you’ve ever hesitated because you assumed your boss is too senior to care, let that go. In fact, I’ve rarely seen a leader who wasn’t grateful when a team member spoke up.

Let me share some real experiences from the leaders I’ve coached:

“One of the most transformative moments in my career was receiving candid feedback about my unclear decision-making process. I hadn’t realized it, but once I worked on providing more clarity, the team’s efficiency improved dramatically. Honest input from the team is essential for leaders to grow.”

Another leader I coached once said, “I’ve grown as a leader because of the feedback I sought. Asking, ‘What can I do differently to support you?’ has brought the best out of me—and my team.”

And here’s a powerful one: “One of my team members pointed out that I was interrupting female colleagues more often than male ones during meetings. I was shocked and honestly ashamed—I had no idea I was doing it. It hit me hard to realize I was unintentionally silencing some voices. I hated that I’d let this unconscious bias slip into my behavior, but I’m so grateful for the feedback. Since then, I’ve been much more intentional about making sure everyone gets equal time to speak and that I’m recognizing contributions fairly across the team.”

And finally, a quote that speaks to the importance of recognition: “I used to think recognition wasn’t that important, but after an employee shared how much it boosts morale, I started celebrating team wins more openly. It’s made a noticeable difference in motivation and teamwork.”

What I’ve learned from these coaching experiences is this: Leaders struggle with the same things you need from them—personal development and strategic direction—but they often don’t realize it. That’s where your feedback comes in. When you provide constructive input, you give your boss the opportunity to improve for the benefit of the entire team.

And yes, giving feedback requires a respectful approach, but when done right, it can be incredibly powerful in reshaping your working relationship.

This brings me to two common scenarios where managing up can make a real difference…

Two Stories About Managing Up Challenges

Let me introduce you to two fictional product managers, Sofia and Erik, whose stories highlight common issues people face with their bosses.

Sofia is a talented product manager but constantly finds herself overwhelmed by the different priorities and requests from various departments. Her boss has not provided clear strategic direction, and Sofia’s unsure how to align her team’s work with the bigger goals. She wants to say no to tasks that don’t seem aligned but fears she’ll upset others. After attending a local product meetup, a peer suggested over beers that managing up might be the key to getting the clarity she needs. The idea stuck with her, and she started thinking: maybe this could be the solution to her frustrations.

On the other hand, Erik, a user researcher, has been in his role for a few years now. He’s skilled and respected, but lately, he feels stagnant. Ready for the next big challenge, he’s been waiting for his boss to initiate development conversations, but it hasn’t happened. While browsing industry blogs one weekend, Erik stumbled upon an article about managing up and how it can help employees take charge of their growth. He began to wonder if this approach could unlock the career progress he was seeking.

Creating Awareness and Managing Up

Both Sofia and Erik are experiencing situations where managing up could help. For Sofia, the problem is a lack of directional clarity. She needs her boss to provide a clearer strategy so she can better prioritize her tasks. For Erik, it’s a lack of development support. He needs guidance on how to grow in his role, but his boss hasn’t recognized this need.

These scenarios are very common in product teams, where leaders are often caught up in daily firefighting and fail to address these crucial areas. The good news? By managing up, Sofia and Erik can take steps to solve their challenges.

If you, like Sofia, find yourself overwhelmed by competing priorities, this could be a sign of lacking strategic direction. You might struggle to say no, be juggling too many tasks, or feel that the work you’re doing has little impact. Prioritization and decision-making become incredibly difficult without clear direction.

Let’s reflect: Are you experiencing these symptoms because your boss hasn’t communicated clear goals or a strategic narrative? Would having better-defined goals help you say no to requests that aren’t aligned with the bigger picture?

If the answer is yes, here’s what you can try:

  • If there is a product strategy but it hasn’t been shared, encourage your boss to communicate it.

  • If there’s no strategy, offer to help. You could suggest creating the strategy together or even offer to take on some research—whether that’s on the current market situation, competitors, macro trends, or even by researching a strategy creation framework like the Decision Stack by Martin Eriksson.

After reflecting, Sofia could say something like this to her boss: "I’ve noticed we’re getting conflicting requests from different departments. It would help me prioritize if we could clarify the top business goals to align our efforts."

This helps Sofia's boss see that they're not communicating the product strategy as well as they could be—or that their team members have realized there's no overarching strategy at all.

If you, like Erik, feel stagnant in your role and uncertain about your next steps, it’s time to have a conversation with your boss about personal development. After some personal reflection—or even gathering peer feedback—Erik could initiate the conversation by saying something like: "I’ve been reflecting on where I want to grow in my career. I’d appreciate your guidance on what you see as my next big challenge or any areas where I could further develop."

This not only signals to his boss that Erik is invested in his own growth, but also prompts his boss to think about how to better support him.

If you’d feel more confident approaching your boss after some structured reflection, there are plenty of career frameworks that can help. I’ve compiled a great list for PMs on my blog, and if you’re looking for an easy, fill-in-the-blanks tool for career conversations, my Future Self Canvas is also available there. 

Expanding Beyond Two Key Leadership Needs

Now, supporting people’s growth (personal development) and providing them with directional clarity are just two of the responsibilities your boss should fulfill, but there’s more. In my coaching practice, I use a blueprint for what I believe makes a strong product, design, and tech leader, and I’ve identified 10 key responsibilities that every leader should take on. These are things you can rightfully expect from your leader:

  • Process Oversight: Expect leaders to ensure that appropriate processes for product, design, and tech excellence are identified and championed within the team. They are responsible for making sure that process development is on someone’s radar and that it gets the attention it needs.

  • Cultural Advocacy: Leaders are the stewards of the team's culture, advocating for a supportive and positive environment that reflects the company's values and encourages innovation, collaboration, and continuous improvement.

  • Role Clarity and Ownership: Leaders are expected to provide clear definitions of roles within the team, but also to encourage team members to take ownership of their roles and contribute to role definition and evolution.

  • Networking Support and Conflict Management: While leaders are not solely responsible for your networking, they should actively support it by providing opportunities and guidance, as well as backing you up and assisting in managing conflicts effectively.

  • Empowerment through Trust and Autonomy: Leaders are expected to create an environment where trust is the foundation, and where team members are given the autonomy to make and act upon decisions within their domain.

  • Feedback Culture and Recognition: Expect leaders to foster a culture where feedback is regularly exchanged in a constructive manner and where recognition is given when due, promoting a motivating and accountable environment.

  • Ensuring the Right Support and Resources: Teams need access to the resources required to execute their strategies effectively—whether that’s better hardware, new team members, or specific tools. Leaders are responsible for ensuring these resources are available, even if they don’t source every single one themselves.

  • Integrity and Ethical Leadership: Leaders are responsible for modeling ethical behavior and integrity, setting the standard for the team and ensuring that all members are encouraged to act in the organization’s best interests.

And of course, two responsibilities we’ve already discussed:

  • Development Facilitation: Supporting your growth through coaching, skill enhancement, and providing time and resources for growth opportunities.

  • Directional Clarity: Ensuring there is clarity in strategy, goals, working principles, and values, fostering alignment across the entire team.

I know this is a lot of information to take in. Don't worry about memorizing all ten leadership areas – I've shared all of them on my blog so you can refer to that if you'd like to refer back to them in the future.

Take a moment to think about your boss in these areas. These are not optional—they are expectations you have a right to hold. Where does your boss excel? Where could they improve? These can be starting points for your feedback conversations.

Now, let’s assume your boss is ranking low in one of the ten leadership areas, and you have a specific challenge you need to address with them. How would you start?

First, decide: do you need to make an ask or give feedback?

  • If your boss isn’t doing something you need—like providing clarity or support—it's time to make an ask.

  • If your boss is exhibiting a behavior that’s negatively impacting your work or growth, or if they are not doing something critical, then it’s time to offer feedback.

Once you’ve determined the approach, you can tailor your message accordingly.

The Art of Giving Feedback

Now, let me introduce you to a simple yet powerful framework for giving feedback—the SBI model: Situation, Behavior, Impact.

For example, Sofia could say, “In our recent team meeting (situation), I noticed that the team was unclear about the product strategy (behavior). As a result, we’ve been struggling to prioritize our work (impact). I think revisiting the strategy together with you in the room would help align our efforts.”

Similarly, Erik could use the same model for development feedback: “In our 1:1s, I’ve noticed that we haven’t discussed my growth path (situation). Without your input, I feel uncertain about my next steps (behavior), which is affecting my motivation (impact). Could we carve out time to focus on my development plan?”

Obviously, these examples are simplified for the sake of this talk. In reality, these conversations can be more nuanced and complex. That’s why I’ve recorded a longer version demonstrating this feedback approach in more depth, and I’ll be including it in the slide deck I’ll share with you after the event.

As you prepare to give feedback, one important thing to remember is to “stay on your side of the net,” a concept from Carole Robin and David Bradford’s Connect. This means focusing on your own experience—what you’ve observed, how it made you feel, and the impact it had on your work—without speculating about your boss’s motives or intentions. By doing this, you make the conversation feel less like an accusation and more like a constructive exchange, allowing your feedback to be received with an open mind.

And if you want to learn more about the art of giving feedback—which I highly recommend, since it can improve all your relationships, not just work—I’ll also include some great resources in that slide deck. Trust me, mastering feedback is a game-changer!

Tailor Your Message

Once you've decided whether to ask for something or give feedback, the next step is to prepare your message and make sure it resonates with your boss. To increase the likelihood of your feedback or request landing well, here are some key things to keep in mind:

  • Understand Executives: Executives operate differently from individual contributors. They focus on long-term, strategic goals and high-level objectives, like company success and financials. Keep your message concise and relevant to these priorities, avoiding too much detail.

  • Get to Know Your Boss: Take the time to understand your boss—how do they view their role, what motivates them, and how are they rewarded? This insight helps you align your approach with their thinking. Also, consider their leadership persona. Some bosses are hands-off, risk-averse, visionaries, or micromanagers. I’ll share a visual to help you identify their persona and tailor your message accordingly. If you want more in-depth tips on tailoring your approach, I’ve written a longer blog post that explores these personas in detail.

  • Build Trust: Show your boss what they can rely on you for. Trust is key to making your boss open to feedback or requests, and it starts by demonstrating your strengths and contributions.

  • Show Empathy: Understanding the pressures your boss faces—how they’re evaluated and the challenges they’re navigating—can help you align your feedback or requests with their goals. The more empathy you show, the better received your message will be.

  • Make Requests, Don’t Complain: When it's time to talk, make requests or ask for help, but avoid complaints. Frame the conversation around solutions and offer clear, actionable next steps, which makes it easier for your boss to respond constructively. Another way of thinking of this is being the shaper (not the victim, via Sohrab Salimi) and taking ownership by focusing on the things you have the power to influence.

Choosing the Right Format

Choosing the right format for delivering feedback can make a significant difference in how it’s received. Research suggests that face-to-face conversations are best when delivering feedback that requires emotional nuance, personal connection, or when discussing sensitive topics. In-person or spoken communication allows for real-time clarification and helps you gauge your boss's reactions, adjusting your message as needed.

On the other hand, for more data-driven or detailed feedback, written communication—like email—can be more appropriate. It gives your boss time to process the information and respond thoughtfully. A good rule of thumb is to provide feedback in person for complex or relationship-driven matters and use email when clarity, documentation, or follow-up is important.

Final Thoughts

Now, as we bring everything together, let’s recap what we’ve explored today. We’ve covered how to manage up—from making strategic asks and providing constructive feedback, to understanding your boss’s leadership persona and tailoring your communication accordingly. We’ve seen how a proactive approach, like that of Sofia and Erik, can help you gain the clarity and support you need.

Managing up isn’t just about getting what you want; it’s about building trust, fostering mutual growth, and strengthening your connection with leadership to drive success for both sides.

But it’s also about something deeper—something more human. I came across a great story from Pavel Chernyshev, where one of his team members, Lea, surprised him with a bouquet of flowers as a thank you for his support as her manager.

Pavel wrote: “Lea came to my desk with flowers, saying thank you for supporting her as a people manager. I was speechless. I’ve never received flowers before, and now I understand the feeling.”

This simple gesture left a lasting impact. It reminds us that managing up isn’t just about feedback or getting what we need—it’s also about being truly human.

And before you take any big steps, I encourage you—right after this talk, when the clapping is done—grab your notebook or phone and jot down one thing that drives you crazy about your boss. Tomorrow, take that insight and, using a feedback framework, prepare for a conversation with your boss. 

Managing up starts with small actions. Be the one to initiate the change. Even a simple request or piece of feedback delivered at the right moment can make all the difference.

Let’s spread some appreciation—and take that first step toward managing up, making your work environment more positive and productive!

 

Short Description

Are you a product manager or designer feeling overlooked or unsupported in crucial meetings? Perhaps you're seeking clear guidance on making tough product trade-offs, or your opportunities for professional growth seem just out of reach. In this practical session, Petra Wille, seasoned product leadership coach, addresses these common challenges for individual contributors in the product and design fields. Join Petra as she unveils strategies to effectively "manage up" and ensure that leaders not only hear but actively support your professional needs and development. 

This talk will equip you with the tools to confidently seek and receive the backing you need during key meetings, navigate complex decision-making with greater clarity, and actively shape your career path through your interactions with leadership. 

 

Alternative Shorter Titles

  1. Leading Upwards: Mastering Interaction with your (Product) Leadership

  2. Elevating Influence: A Product Professional’s Guide to Managing Up

  3. Unlocking Leadership Support: Strategies to Manage Up Successfully

  4. Navigating Leadership Dynamics: How Product People Can Manage Up for Success

  5. Triumphing Over Challenges: A Guide for Product People to Understand and Influence Leadership

  6. From Challenges to Triumph: What Product People Can Expect from Their Leadership