Managing Up, Part 3: Navigating Conflict with Other People and Teams
Hello there, lovely product people! I wanted to share a quick note to let you know that this article is a little different from what I usually share here. While my blog typically highlights work I’ve already done (e.g. frameworks I’ve developed, podcasts or talks I’ve given, clients I’ve worked with), this post actually represents a work in progress. I’m in the midst of developing a talk and I wanted to share some of the content I’ve been working on. In other words, this is far from polished.
I hope sharing some of my thoughts here will help me refine what I’d like to say in my talk. And if you have any feedback on any of the content here—please don’t hesitate to let me know by sending me an email at info@petra-wille.de.
In the first post in this series, I covered why managing up is an important topic, introduced the ten boss responsibilities and the ships vs. shipyard metaphor, and explained why your boss might be struggling in these areas. Want to read that post? You can find it here. In the second post, we looked at a common situation product managers find themselves in: struggling to say no to different requests. We identified that this is linked to the boss competency of directional clarity and explored some ways you can help your boss develop in this area. You can read that post here.
In this post, we’ll be looking at a specific situation when you might need more support from your boss—when you’re experiencing conflicts with other people or teams and when the boss competency of role clarity might be the missing piece of the puzzle. Need a refresher on all ten boss competencies? I shared an overview of all ten in the first post in the series.
The situation: You’re unable to reach agreement with other people or teams
One situation you might find yourself in where you have to say no is when your sales, marketing, or any other cross-departmental colleagues come to you with a specific ask, a new initiative, or maybe even a very precise feature request.
Source: Intercom
Let’s assume you don’t agree with your stakeholders’ assessment that it is a very important thing to work on with the team. This difference of opinion can cause friction, disagreements, and maybe even big clashes.
How do you know if this is you? Here are some symptoms you might be experiencing:
There’s one person or department you really struggle to say no to.
There’s one person or department who just doesn’t get “how product works” or what your processes are, and they’re constantly ignoring your boundaries and going behind your back.
In these situations, we can say that the problem is likely related to the boss competency of networking support and conflict management and maybe a bit of missing role clarity as well. And the tactic that can help you overcome it is called “joint escalation.”
A few things to reflect on
Take a moment to consider: Is the reason for the argument, conflict, or difficulty with the other person because your departments have conflicting goals? For example, are the marketing team’s KPIs different from the product team’s? Are they tasked to optimize for new leads while you’re tasked to optimize for the retention of existing customers? If that’s the case, you might not be able to respond to their requests in an appropriate way. And your leaders might even be unaware that their “business scorecards” are creating persistent conflicts between departments.
In well-run organizations, this should not be the case—but it often is. So flagging conflicting goals to your boss might be a good first step, especially if you partner with a representative from the team whose goals are in conflict with your own.
This might even be an opportunity to point out that they might move away from thinking in terms of departments and think more in terms of cross-functional teams and therefore cross-functional, department-agnostic goals in the future. We’re all here to deliver value to our users/customers in a way that makes sense for our business, so ideally we should all share the same goals.
A few tactics to address networking support and conflict management
When you’re ready to take action, here are some things you can try:
Joint escalation
Arne Kittler’s “Clarification Manifesto” is a tool that you might find useful here. This is a simple four-step process for when you’re stuck at the IC level and need a leader to make a decision:
Step 1: If you get stuck, trigger escalation early
Step 2: Present escalation jointly (together with the person you are having the conflict with)
Step 3: Be clear about what’s unclear
Step 4: Decision-makers decide, then hand it back
Give your boss and other stakeholders an executive summary of your work
Sharing more about how you work can help bridge gaps in understanding and streamline cross-departmental initiatives. It's easy to think executives know everything about our processes, like how we construct design systems, prioritize opportunities, or conduct sprint rituals. But what's more common is that the further up the chain you look, the less detail executives are likely to know.
In order to overcome this, make sure you educate your boss (and any other relevant stakeholders) on how you work. Offer a concise executive summary of your workflows. Back in the days when I was a PM, I used a schematic drawing of the four taskboards we were using to orchestrate our product work and was ready to walk everyone through our process at any time. The image shows (from bottom to top): the team’s delivery board, the team’s discovery board, the product organization’s portfolio board, and the company’s idea assessment board.
No matter how you decide to communicate this information, make sure you don't just do it once—the more often you repeat it, the better they'll be able to represent you and your team and prevent conflicts from escalating.
One important lesson: When talking about your work, go beyond the "what" and delve into the "how." Share the structure and rationale behind your decisions. If you're implementing a design system, for example, don't just present the end result. Give a brief narrative of the design system's evolution, particularly within your company, to give context. Remember: Executives may not share your background and giving them a storyline can highlight the strategic value of your work.
In the next post, we’ll explore one more common situation—when you’d like to level up your PM skills—and how you can help your boss help you with your professional development.